How to actually test if escorting is right for you

February 9 2012

You need independence. You're young, attractive and sexually / romantically open-minded. Or you have a family to feed or educate. You're intrigued by the sex workers' industry. You're very liberal and want to explore escorting from a feminist perspective.

Whatever your situation, there's the dream of escorting and then the reality of it, and sometimes they don't match up. Writer Lily Blau explored the possibility of stripping in several articles, particularly Should You Try Stripping [1], in which she hears of a former beau's current girlfriend making big money and scoring a book deal stripping after losing her job on Wall Street. It can be a glamorous world, being paid for your time and company, but as Blau learns, it's still not one-size-fits-all, and not right for her.

So, how to tell if escorting really is right for you? Let's say you've gone through the practical steps, like how you'd register your escort business, where you would work, and the initial what's-what of how you'd start.

How you do know if you're really ready? Emotionally and physically?

Put your toe in the water, slowly.

Go on a blind date, and act as you would if he were a client

Yes, this is probably not a particularly fair thing to do to the date. But who knows what they're looking for and what they'll think of you anyway. The purpose for you is to see how you can handle being interesting, accommodating and attractive to a stranger. Go onto a dating site (maybe not a particularly popular one) and put up a very basic profile. Don't give out too much information. Then secure a date with someone who isn't your personal preference; someone that you wouldn't be seeking if you were really looking for coupledom. Plan a date to somewhere you don't normally go, just to get out of your comfort zone.

Watch how you are with this person. Maybe you're not particularly attracted to them: can you act as if you are? Can you listen to what they have to say, ask interesting questions, keep them engaged and get them to open up to you? Can you make them feel like they're incredible, and get them to want to see you again?

Obviously this circumstance is not accurate so to what you'll be doing as an escort: they won't know that they can open up to you completely. They may know less about you from a dating site than they would from an escorting site, and vice versa.

But what you're testing is how good you are at rolling with different types of people. Assess how your first date went: how did you conduct yourself? How comfortable did you feel in your clothes / skin / environment? Were you able to blend into your surroundings? Were you able to offer a hug or kiss goodnight with someone you weren't attracted to, but made them feel as if you were?

Now do it again, with someone else: new person, new scenario.

Were you able to give the same amount of attention and affection? Because that's what you'll need to be able to do with a variety of clients as an escort.

Go out to a strip club

Yes, strippers are not escorts just like escorts are not prostitutes. Many strippers would never be able to handle escorting and know it. But if you're unfamiliar with the strip club world, it may be a way for you to gauge how comfortable you are with ogling men in general. At a club there will be a level of protection (bouncers, bartenders, managers etc.) that you won't have as an escort (unless you hire a driver to stay close by, which is always a good idea), and the energy of a group of men will be different than the clients you'll deal with one-on-one. But as men are sexual, you'll be seeing them in an extremely sexual light.

Are you cool with this? Does it make you feel liberated and free or belittled? Do you feel you can handle yourself independently in such a situation? Are you able to not judge the clients for why they're there or how they're acting?

Chat with the dancers. Yes, you'll be in very different professions, and you should express that you understand this. But ask about how they started, what hurdles they overcame, and how. Can you jump those hurdles too?

Partner up with a friend

It's always a good idea to have someone show you the ropes in a new job, so find a trusted friend already in the business and partner up for a short time. Don't approach a stranger—they'll have no way to be sure if you are asking them legitimately and legally or not. If you don't personally know someone in the business, ask a dancer at a strip club: let her know you know the jobs are not the same thing, but you're wondering if they know of someone you can trust in the escorting field to show you around.

When you find that person, ask her the specifics of what you need to know, then ask her to recommend you to a client she trusts that might be a good starting off point for you. Don't try to poach her clients, but tell her you're curious to see if you can pull it off and that it would be helpful for you to start with someone you can trust. If it all works out, make sure to thank her in some way, recommending her to your own clients, and prepare to give the same helping hand to a newbie down the road.

Try it out in a different city

If you're not quite sure if you want to work, testing the waters in another city could be helpful. This way, if it doesn't pan out and you don't want to continue, you won't have opened up the door of communication near where you live. Travel to some other city in your area, use a site such as Dating.com where you can put your profile up specific to the area, and book a few clients. Especially as you'll be out of your own turf, can you handle yourself well? Get from A to B in foreign territory? Enjoy your time with your clients?

Don't tell them you're from out of town and make sure you know a person or people nearby just in case something happens. Who knows, maybe you'll enjoy traveling to work so much so that it will be your norm? In any case, if you can handle seeing clients out of town, chances are you're ready to come home.

1 - http://www.alternet.org/story/138649/should_you_try_stripping/