Escorting clients with disabilities

November 2 2011

Escorting is an extremely personal industry. The client pays the professional for a bit of time and company, and both parties are putting a lot of themselves out there to a relative stranger upon first meeting. Along with basic information that's collected before this initial date, any hints on either end as to interests, preferences, and likes or dislikes only increase the chance that all involved will have a very enjoyable time together, creating some lasting memories and hopefully forging a professional relationship that will continue over time.

Clear communication is the key to the success of the first meeting, and it is vitally helpful when the client has a disability. As the escort, you are responsible for making sure that your client knows you respect their needs, and with a little bit of preparation you can provide the highest possible level of comfort for both parties in your time spent together.

It's a balancing act, one that takes a bit of listening and intuition when dealing with anyone with an illness or disability that might be sensitive about their condition, especially in such an intimate situation. Just as certain jargon has adapted to respect those with disabilities, so you should be aware of how you speak and make sure that no sensitive toes are stepped on.

Oh, and for the record, the most socially accepted term is "person with disabilities", not "disabled" or "handicapped". Some clients might not mind other words or phrases, but starting with this is your safest bet.

Before we get further into the what's-what, though, take comfort in this: the person has been living with their disability most likely for a long time. Someone who is blind navigates himself throughout life without your help, and a person in a wheelchair knows the freedoms and limitations of his movement. While the situation may be a first for you, most likely the client has been asked the questions on your mind before. So speak respectfully and honestly, but don't stress over something you're curious about or not ask a question that might better help you serve them.

When setting up a meeting with a client with a disability, it is their responsibility to make their condition known to you. If you book through an agency or your own personal website, it's good form to invite your clients to offer this information somewhere where you list your contact information or FAQs. Something simple like "Please let me know if you have any physical disabilities so that I may best meet your personal needs" can help the client feel that they are welcome, and that you don't reject a potential client upon hearing this or that term for disability.

When speaking with a client before meeting, don't be afraid to ask specific questions, gently highlighting that you're asking so that you can better serve them. Depending on the disability, you might need to consider:

• Meeting them at a public place that they can be guided to with some help (restaurant, specific entrance at a train or taxi station, hotel lobby etc).
• Acquiring a hotel room or table reservation where a wheelchair can have access.
• Meeting in a quiet place so that someone who is hearing impaired might best be able to communicate.
• Having them send you a photo of themselves if they're blind, that way you can easily detect them in a public setting.

Also, be aware of how they're communicating with you. If the client is blind and you're emailing, how are they receiving the message? If something is being read out loud to them via a machine, you're going to want to keep your communication even that much more simple and clean, for both of your sakes.

Asking a general "Is there anything you feel I should know before we meet so that I can make our time together as exciting as possible?" opens the door to any possibility you may not have thought of before you actually meet.

When planning your first date, keep in mind that seeing a client with a disability is not going to be dramatically different than any other client, but there are some practical things to consider when setting up what you'll be doing together:

• If you're meeting the client in public to pick them up and go somewhere, make sure you have an appropriate set of clothes. You can always change into something more in tune to whatever your time together may be, but remember the entire package of your date, start to finish.
• Plan a few extra minutes at the start and end of the date, and consider not charging them for that tiny bit of time. If you're navigating a busy street with a client who can't see or accessing ramps for someone in a wheelchair, going from point A to point B make take a tiny bit of extra time. It shouldn't be so excessive that it breaks into the rest of your day, but is something to keep in mind.
• If booking at table in a restaurant or bar or a hotel room, make sure that it's easily accessible for the client; why waste extra time navigating elevators and long hallways if you don't need to?

Once you have the gist of the client's mobility and ability to navigate to your date, you can move on to what part they would like you to play personally in your time together. Being sensitive but not dramatic in this situation is key. One client who is wheelchair bound might be feeling somewhat inadequate whereas another might be completely comfortable and in control, knowing exactly what they want and like.

Here, again, communication is key. A general, easy conversation opener like "Is there anything I should or shouldn't do to make you most comfortable with me?" gives the client the opportunity to relay any concerns (or lack of concerns) to you. After that, you are free to adapt to the situation as you would with any other client, making sure that you both have an incredible time.